THE SHORE
WHAT ARE WE BUILDING ARTICLE
LOOK BACK AT
BY KEVIN RATZSCH | AUG 20, 2026 | 5 MINUTE READ
ARE WE DOING TOO MUCH WITH OUR KIDS?
It's a question I get from parents all the time.
"Are we doing the right thing with all these activities?"
"Should we really be traveling this much for sports?"
"Are our kids too busy?"
I love sports.
I believe there's tremendous value in committing to something, working hard, competing and pursuing excellence.
I've spent a huge portion of my life in a gym.
There was a time when guys at the gym used to ask me if I kept a sleeping bag there because I was there so much working on my game.
So I'm probably not the guy who's going to tell you your family needs to stop taking sports so seriously.
When parents ask me if they're doing too much, my answer probably isn't very satisfying.
I don't know.
And I'm not sure anyone outside your family can answer that question for you.
There are seasons when pursuing something together as a family can be an incredible experience.
Travel.
Compete.
Work.
Commit.
Make memories.
Go after something.
But every couple of months, families need to stop paddling for a minute and look back at the shore.
HARD WORK DOESN'T GUARANTEE DIRECTION.
Years ago, I used to help run FCA sports camps in California. After camp I'd stick around for a while with friends I'd made over the years.
One time we went surfing.
I was a beginner, which meant I spent considerably more time paddling and falling than actually surfing.
Paddle out.
Try to catch a wave.
Fall.
Paddle out again.
Try again.
Fall.
Repeat.
I was working hard.
Eventually I looked back toward the beach and realized the current had carried me a long way from where I started.
I remember thinking:
How in the heck did I get way over here?
That's the danger of drift.
You don't have to be lazy to drift.
You can be working incredibly hard and still be drifting.
Families can do it too.
Practice Monday.
Training Tuesday.
Church Wednesday.
Practice Thursday.
Tournament Friday.
Games Saturday.
Drive home Sunday.
School Monday.
Next tournament.
Next season.
Next opportunity.
Next wave.
Nobody made some big decision to move away from what mattered.
You were just paddling.
The question isn't whether your family is busy. The question is whether your busyness is taking you where you intended to go.
SO...ARE WE DOING TOO MUCH?
Maybe.
But I don't think the number of practices on your calendar can answer that question.
Look at the fruit.
Are you worshiping together?
Are you praying together?
Are you spending meaningful time around the dinner table?
How is your marriage?
How are your other children doing?
Is there still joy in your home?
Does your child even enjoy the sport anymore?
Do you have relationships outside the activity?
Is your family controlling the calendar—or has the calendar started controlling your family?
And most importantly:
Is Christ still at the center of your family, or has something good quietly taken His place?
If those things are healthy, maybe the answer really is:
No.
You're not doing too much.
Maybe you're just in an intense season your family has intentionally chosen together.
Enjoy it.
Go all in.
Compete.
Travel.
Make memories.
I think there can be something really good about a family going all-in on something together for a season.
But if you stop and realize you haven't worshiped together in weeks, nobody remembers the last family dinner, your marriage is running on fumes, your other children are getting dragged along, and everyone is exhausted and irritable...
Maybe the answer is different.
Maybe it's time to look back at the shore.
GOOD THINGS CAN STILL TAKE YOU TO THE WRONG PLACE.
Sports are good.
Achievement is good.
Hard work is good.
Commitment is good.
Pursuing excellence is good.
But good things make terrible gods.
That's why the question can't simply be:
"Is travel sports good or bad?"
The better questions are:
Where were we trying to go?
Where are we now?
What is this costing us?
Are we okay with that cost?
Who are we becoming along the way?
And don't expect to answer those questions once and be done.
Families drift.
We get locked in.
Then we drift.
We recognize it.
We correct course.
Then eventually we drift somewhere else.
The goal isn't to never drift.
The drift will catch us.
The goal is to recognize it earlier.
Maybe we used to go an entire year before realizing our priorities had gotten out of order.
Maybe next time it's a few months.
Maybe eventually a husband or wife can look at the other and say:
"I think we're drifting."
And both know exactly what that means.
Every once in a while, stop paddling.
Look back at the shore.
Where were we trying to go?
Where are we now?
Where are we drifting?
Then pick up the oar and correct course.
Because hard work doesn't guarantee direction.
And sometimes the most important decision isn't to paddle harder.
It's to change direction.
BASKETBALL IS GOOD. GOD IS GREATER.